What is the life of an MSM Sex Worker in Kisumu really like??
"This is my personal experience and I only speak for myself." Says MSM Sex Worker In Kisumu City.
I am single, I work for four days a week in Kisumu. I have done private work before but I prefer sex work due to the demand from the Rich Gay Men who are hiding under marriage because of pressure from the society. I call my mum everyday after work on my way home and send her some MPESA for food and upkeep for my little siblings. She is a single Mother and my family comes first even though they don't know what l do except for my closest friends.
I started working as I was studying psychology but decided sexwork was my new career choice because I found the role of therapist played a big part in my work, it gave me complete flexibility with time, the money was on par or better for less hours, I found it fulfilling to see the positive effect I was having in people's lives, I have a very healthy sex drive.
SEX WORK & LIFE
I don’t see as many men as people think I do. Each day is different. If I reach five, that’s a busy day. I only once saw around 10 guys in a day. I had to pull a double shift (14hrs)to do it. They were mainly half hours. Not all of them wanted sex some just needed a blow job.
To me a person is a person. I am not physically attracted to all my clients but I was brought up to look beneath. There is always something about that person I find attractive or admire. Their Shyness. Humor. Intellect.Experience.Skill.Etc. I rarely get clients who are disrespectful. I did when I started but the more I stood my ground, the less they chose me or they would back down and behave. Sometimes I do get clients who are mentally draining but that is different to disrespectful.
I have seen single people date single clients on the odd occasion. I have never seen a sex worker cheat on a partner with a client. I have dated once while working. He knew my job. The relationship was healthy. We stopped dating when he wanted more. Before I had no plans to date, now I am open to dating if the person can accept my work and who I am. I have no plans to leave my job for a man. I don’t want kids.
All jobs require professionalism at work. Sex work sex and private life sex are two totally different things. Work sex is about meeting the clients needs to relax in a safe place. Its a place of non judgement. A break from society’s burdens. My longest booking was approx 43hrs. Private life sex is about meeting my needs. Private life sex is a deeper connection. I never do anything I do not wish to do. I will only do what I am comfortable with. Money isn’t always everything. I am in control of the booking. I am my own boss.
Sex work taught me: To communicate in the bedroom. How to explore my sexuality. That if a guy wants my attention or to date me, they have to bring more than sex to the table. To respect myself more. To speak up when I don’t like something. To take control in the bedroom. Not to put up with bad behaviour from guys. How everyones needs kindness.
Social life can be hard. This is because of Stigma and Discrimination from other people. I moved from Nairobi to Kisumu due to competition and lost a lot of clients. Its hard staying in contact with others when I changed places. My current place is like a sorority. Most female sex workers i interact with are receptive and we do get along and are strong friends outside. They even support me through referrals. I love the place I am now. I mainly hang out with other male sex workers but see other friends too. Sometimes I do feel lonely when everyone is busy and its a day off. I wouldn’t change my job for anything else. Its not my only option.
MSM Sex Worker in Kisumu.