"This is my personal experience and I only speak for myself." Says MSM Sex Worker In Kisumu City.
I am single, I work for four days a week in Kisumu. I have done private work before but I prefer sex work due to the demand from the Rich Gay Men who are hiding under marriage because of pressure from the society. I call my mum everyday after work on my way home and send her some MPESA for food and upkeep for my little siblings. She is a single Mother and my family comes first even though they don't know what l do except for my closest friends.
I started working as I was studying psychology but decided sexwork was my new career choice because I found the role of therapist played a big part in my work, it gave me complete flexibility with time, the money was on par or better for less hours, I found it fulfilling to see the positive effect I was having in people's lives, I have a very healthy sex drive.
SEX WORK & LIFE
I don’t see as many men as people think I do. Each day is different. If I reach five, that’s a busy day. I only once saw around 10 guys in a day. I had to pull a double shift (14hrs)to do it. They were mainly half hours. Not all of them wanted sex some just needed a blow job.
To me a person is a person. I am not physically attracted to all my clients but I was brought up to look beneath. There is always something about that person I find attractive or admire. Their Shyness. Humor. Intellect.Experience.Skill.Etc. I rarely get clients who are disrespectful. I did when I started but the more I stood my ground, the less they chose me or they would back down and behave. Sometimes I do get clients who are mentally draining but that is different to disrespectful.
I have seen single people date single clients on the odd occasion. I have never seen a sex worker cheat on a partner with a client. I have dated once while working. He knew my job. The relationship was healthy. We stopped dating when he wanted more. Before I had no plans to date, now I am open to dating if the person can accept my work and who I am. I have no plans to leave my job for a man. I don’t want kids.
All jobs require professionalism at work. Sex work sex and private life sex are two totally different things. Work sex is about meeting the clients needs to relax in a safe place. Its a place of non judgement. A break from society’s burdens. My longest booking was approx 43hrs. Private life sex is about meeting my needs. Private life sex is a deeper connection. I never do anything I do not wish to do. I will only do what I am comfortable with. Money isn’t always everything. I am in control of the booking. I am my own boss.
Sex work taught me: To communicate in the bedroom. How to explore my sexuality. That if a guy wants my attention or to date me, they have to bring more than sex to the table. To respect myself more. To speak up when I don’t like something. To take control in the bedroom. Not to put up with bad behaviour from guys. How everyones needs kindness.
Social life can be hard. This is because of Stigma and Discrimination from other people. I moved from Nairobi to Kisumu due to competition and lost a lot of clients. Its hard staying in contact with others when I changed places. My current place is like a sorority. Most female sex workers i interact with are receptive and we do get along and are strong friends outside. They even support me through referrals. I love the place I am now. I mainly hang out with other male sex workers but see other friends too. Sometimes I do feel lonely when everyone is busy and its a day off. I wouldn’t change my job for anything else. Its not my only option.
MSM Sex Worker in Kisumu.
KAMPALA—For the second year in a row, the Ugandan government has canceled gay pride celebrations in the country’s capital.
Last week Wednesday, the country’s minister of ethics and integrity, Simon Lokodo, called for the shutting down of a pride gala set to take place at the Sheraton Hotel, claiming that the event was an “illegal attempt to promote homosexuality,” reports The Guardian.
“It’s true I ordered the police to stop and shut down all the gay pride events. No gay gathering and promotion can be allowed in Uganda. We can’t tolerate it at all,” said Lokodo.
“We know they are trying to recruit and promote homosexuality secretly,” he continued. “But it’s worse to attempt to stand and exhibit it in public arena. This is totally unacceptable. Never in Uganda.”
Police officers were deployed at the hotel and other venues where pride events were scheduled, to arrest anyone participating in activities.
LGBTQ advocates in the nation are outraged by the minister’s actions and the government’s blatant denial of human rights.
Homosexuality is illegal in Uganda under colonial-era laws, punishable by a jail sentence, but LGBTI campaigners were given hope in 2014 when attempts to introduce a bill that would make some homosexual acts punishable by death was ruled unconstitutional. Police granted permission for pride celebrations in 2015.
“We are utterly appalled by the minister’s actions. The government crackdown on our events is abuse of our freedom of assembly and association. We have a right granted by the Ugandan constitution,” said Frank Mugisha, the executive directive of Sexual Minorities Uganda (Smug), a network of LGBTI organisations in Uganda.
“It is sad and difficult. This is based on conservative views of our politicians … Pride is about celebrating who we are, giving courage and hope to those individuals who are living lonely and isolated lives in hostile communities, for them to know they are not alone. We shall not allow this intimidation. The struggle will go on.”
Nicholas Opiyo, executive director of Chapter Four Uganda, which protects civil liberties and promotes human rights, added: “The actions of the Ugandan security apparatus to threaten violence, intimidate the proprietors of booked venues for the events is a vile affront to the rights of the LGBT community to organise and celebrate their identity.
It is also a rude reminder that in spite of the nullification of the Anti-Homosexuality Act in 2014, the LGBT community still faces government-inspired and community-led safety concerns, many of which usually go unreported.”
The US and Swedish embassies in Kampala expressed dismay that pride events had been cancelled.
In a statement, the US mission said: “The US is disappointed with reports that the Ugandan government has forced the cancellation of LGBTI pride week events. Under Uganda’s constitution, all individuals and organisations have right to associate freely in private and in public, without fear.
“It is the responsibility of the government to ensure that human rights of all citizens, including LGBTI citizens, are respected and protected.”